Galaxy of Terror
Oddly enough, I think this is my first
Roger Corman production for the year. But it is my second Alien
rip-off of the season, so let's get this clunky turd out of the way
Some sort of mystery beast has
decimated an entire crew and a rescue ship is dispatched. Honestly, the take-off, faster than light travel, and landing were all super dramatic and tense. You'd think they'd have this down by now, but nope, they suck at it. But that's not even half of this crews problem. Right from the start, things go to shit and people start dropping off
like flies. Each one is killed by a manifestation of their each
individual fears....wait, it wasn't Alien that got ripped off here,
it was Forbidden Planet! Anyhoo, one particularly disturbing death
was when the hawtest member of the crew is raped by a slimy
worm-beast. Right before she dies, she has a major O and almost dies
with a smile on her face. But mostly not. She was, after all, raped
by a gigantic phallic metaphor.
 |
| Excuse me sir, are one of those things your wiener, or are they ALL wieners? |
When the other members of the crew find her corpse, she's naked and covered in slime. They torch her body where it sat immediately...without bothering to check for a pulse! Idiots. Starting to root for the the monster right about now. As the crew is burned beyond recognition, choked to the point of cranial explosion, and dismembered by glass shards, I realize that the bad acting isn't the actors fault as much as it's the directors. The talent pool isn't bad: Ray Walston, Robert Englund, and super creep Zalman King round out the cast of rather irrelevant people.
This was another of those VHS rental dreams picks and the movie poster was infinitely better than the actual movie. It's considered a cult film but I don't see it. As I've said before, cult films are repeatedly viewed and this isn't a film that you'd watch more than once. And I did. Now I'll never have to again (willingly)
Monday: The greatest movie title contradiction in terms
No comments:
Post a Comment