All children are Hell-spawns...

As usual, I want to end this years movie list with something light, fun, easy on the eyes and brain...Instead I picked:

Little Evil

     Poor Gary. He has a new bride, and with that comes a new step-son named Lucas. He appears to be the spawn of Satan. This is probably true. Right away the evidence starts piling up:

*Tells a teacher to 'go to hell', and she procedes to douse her face with lye and jump out of a window , impaling herself on a fence below

*Stares at a TV broadcasting nothing but white noise

*Makes a party clown lights himself on fire

*All previous boyfriends are dead

*Was conceived during a cult ritual (that's a big one).

     After realizing that he probably IS the hell spawn, it becomes clear to Gary he must kill the antichrist. To do so, you need the Knife Of Destiny. But killing a kid isn't that easy, especially after taking said spawn to a water park and bonding. That throws the mission upside down and creepy cultists kidnap Lucas to finish the job. Turns out, in order for Satan to come to Earth, he needs a vessel, and that vessel is Lucas. Kill Lucas, and Satan can have to body. You know what? It's a thin plot, but nowhere near the worst we've ever seen. After a climatic end which featured a demon made of fire, cultists, and a monster truck, we're treated to a happy ending we all could use.

And that's IT! I'm DONE! 31 days, 31 movies, and nearly every one of them knocked down a couple of my already struggling IQ points. Maybe a book will help with that....

'Till next year!

Say "package" one more time! I DARE YOU!!!!

 Shadow in the Cloud

30,000 ft, -40f, 180mph...this scene explodes with realism.

     A young WAC is put in charge of transporting a super special super secret package via a B-17 during WW2. Almost immediately, something is clearly not right and there's SOMETHING ON THE WING!!!

     ahem...anyway, you'll quickly be annoyed by the misogyny by clearly near-rapist air crew. They're being over-played and annoys the hell out of me right away. Where they really driven by their dick 'n' balls? The first 15 minutes tries to convince you they were after the 15th "got your packaged RIGHT HERE!!!" line, it nearly ruins the movie in the first 15 minutes. She's been deployed by a high-ranking general, yet they constantly taunt her and act as though she has no superior to report to. She's gonna tell on you!

     Nothing about this flight is right. She starts with an accent however she loses it quickly after an encounter with a Japanese plane. And she's not who she says she is.  The package (the one she was carrying, not the crotch of the mega-horny idiot airman) is a baby, and that blows the super secret angle to pieces.  Now it's just a dumb monster movie on a plane and the damn thing looks like a bat. And how did she think she was going to transport that baby without it crying?

     Let's once again put away the realism and try to overlook the tense but highly improbable baby rescue scene or the fact that the 'GOAT Generation' were a bunch of filthy pigs or *groooooaan* when she falls out of the plane, and an exploding plane below her propels her right back into the cabin.

She fell out of this hole. Then she un-fell out of it.

     Truthfully,I must admit, it's not fair for me to be so down on this movie. It is fun, and I was engaged throughout the entire movie. But you have to turn your brain off like it was an '80 Stallone movie.

Yep...she went Stallone...

Monday: The final film...