...and I'm MORE than ready. I've often called Halloween my 'Christmas' because it's the one holiday I actually enjoy. It's not just the movies. It's also the atmosphere: Cool, dry weather, stores filling up with costumes and decorations, candy in 5lb BAGS, movies, little kids dressed up in cheap plastic masks and make-up, the leaves turning color, movies...Since we've been doing this every year for damn near a decade, I avoid horror movies during the regular year and keep a running list of what I want to see. And as always, I have a mix of bad, silly, classic, terrible, strange, and stupid films to wade through. There's also an entire franchise that I want to power through, since that's become somewhat of a tradition for me. So let's dig in with::::::
Deathgasm
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Everything in this poster is right and good.
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This feature comes to us from New Zealand, where they clearly know how make a metal-headed horror movie. We meet our protagonist, Brodie, and his dick-headed friend Zakk, as they first meet, form a friendship (complete with blood pact), and form a band with a couple of Dungeons and Dragons nerds. While terrorizing the town, they decided to rob the house of an aging former band member of some long-forgotten death-metal band. One item they stole was sheet music for bringing about some lame-ass demon named Aeloth. They decided to put the play the music, and all hell breaks loose and we have ourselves a Goddamn horror movie!!!
This was a great film to start the year off with. It was funny, gory, silly, and full of metal, the pacing is spot on. There was never a dull moment or slowdown during it's 86 minute entirety. And don't forget about the blood. Lots and lots of spraying blood. Seems as though they took a page out of the Japanese film making book and ran with it. Here's proof:
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| Notice that he already vomited blood on her once...why didn't she move after that? |
There's also an entire fight scene involving dildos and anal beads the size of golf balls
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| Sadly, the anal beads were far more effective |
My only complaint about the film is this one scene summed up by a single picture. Please observe:
This never happens to a metal head. It. Just. Doesn't.
Regardless, on to Sunday Funday: He wanted to disconnect himself....
