Oh, how we missed you all...

 The Addams Family (2019)

     The Addams Family returns in an animated feature after so many missteps since Raul Julia's death. John Astin aside, nobody could play a live action Gomez like Raul and I personally think that's why nobody's made a decent attempt until now. Granted, this is animated and not live action, but prior to this, nobody's put any real money or talent behind a decent production. 

     After being persecuted by villagers during Morticia & Gomez's wedding, they decide to relocate to where entire villages don't mob up to burn them at the stake. Apparently, such a place exists and it's in New Jersey. 

      For the next 13 years, they live in (mostly) family bliss, completely ignorant to the new housing development being built down the hill from their mansion. The developer is also the host of a remolding show and basically owns the town since she built it. Once the two parties meet, it's like cats and water: Fur flies, claws come out, and there's a lot of resentment. It's a battle of ideals featuring conformity vs deviation. That being the biggest battle in the movie, there are several smaller sub-plots as well with both Pugsly & Wednesday coming of age. They both desire their own path and there's great reluctance in both Gomez & Morticia to let them do so. We've seen that story what seems like hundreds of times, yet for some reason films like this feel the need to brow-beat us about it every chance they get. There are a lot of subtle touches that you miss if you blink, but 2 standouts would be the return of Aristotle the octopus (only featured in the original comic) and the end title sequence is a faithful recreation of the original TV series opening. That gave me feels

   There is also a sequel, that will have to wait a year because this was my final movie for the month. 31 days, 31 movies. All I've learned is I hate werewolf movies and most shark movies are disappointing. Now it's time for me to go read a book or something....

Sympathy for the Devil

Lucifer

Season 6, 10 episodes

2021

I binged all of season six over a couple of days. Honestly, it was kind of lame. I don't expect Lucifer to be scary - it's more of a dramedy with demons - but there is the occasional gruesome death. I guess the drag queen who took a stiletto to the eye might qualify as gruesome but most of the final season was fraught with family drama.

Namely, a woman shows up claiming to be Lucifer's daughter, saying he abandoned her. He has no idea who she is and spends at least one episode tracking down attendees of a masked orgy he once participated in around the time this young lady was likely to be conceived. It doesn't pan out.

The rest of the season is kind of jumbled. Dan is dead and has become a roaming ghost that only the celestials can see. Chloe gets addicted to celestial power and starts picking fights with people. Ella has formulated a conspiracy theory about Luci and the gang, while dodging Dan's smitten friend - a nice guy named Carol. Maze & Eve get engaged and have started planning their wedding when Eve's ex, Adam shows up. The first man is a total self-absorbed troll, really impressed with that fact that he "named all the animals". That tracks.

I'm kind of sad that this is the last season but if this is the quality of material they're going to offer, so be it. At least I got to see Tom Ellis' ass. Again.

When silly is done right....

Slay Belles

First let me gif my feelings on Christmas

     I'm not a Christmas person. Not since I started putting books on my wish list instead of toys and video games. That being said, it's always been strange to me how people have more fun during Halloween compared to Christmas, but put so much more emphasis on Dec 25th instead Oct 31...the cool holiday. It's like how you gravitate towards the cool aunt or uncle that doesn't really have their shit together, but still way more fun to be around than the stoic patriarch. This film mixes them together in an absurd mash that makes fun of modern society and it's need for external validation via social media and still mixes in boobs and blood for a silly horror movie that reminds you not to take everything so serious.

Not really. You are kind of dumb.

     The story is simple: 3 vapid thrill-seeking urban explorers find a Christmas themed amusement park to explore, film the experience and upload it to the interwebs for likes, hits, and smashes. Things go awry when Krampus starts hunting them. They stumble upon a white-trash bearded fellow that just happens to be St. Nick. Together, they conquer Krampus and mock him:

Nobody likes a tease, ma'am.

     Unfortunately for them, they find out that Mrs. Claus is behind the Krampus shenanigans and they have to stop her...and by stop her, I mean KILL her. Where's your Christmas feels now, eh? Anyhoo, narcissism triumphs over Lady Claus's revenge plot and happy is had by all. I didn't say it was a deep plot, but it's still stupid fun.

Sunday: Finale