Position Wanted: Puppet Master

Curse of the Puppet Master

     Look, if your franchise goes to 3 movies, NEVER assume that you'll have a 'final chapter'. That's not how franchises work and Hollywood will milk them for every penny. This is more of a universal rule as opposed to a suggestion. And because of that rule, we have # 6 in a long line of horror movies that really aren't scary.

     We have a new puppet master (or old. Again, the chronology is messed up) and he's employed a seemingly simple man named Robert to help carve a new puppet or some such. It really doesn't matter. The actor tries his best to do 'lonely forlorn distant reflective staring', but he sucks and hasn't worked since 2001. The new master has other plans, however, and goes all 'master race' with the creation of a new puppet race using Roberts soul. Or he's trying.

Meet Tank. Undoubtedly, the creepiest puppet with the lamest name.

     And the puppets? Much like in the first and second movies, they do NOT like this line of approach or treatment of fellow puppets and turn on the master, violently. And let's just say that 'violently' is an understatement. They butcher the fuck out of him! This marks the 3rd master the puppets have killed, so the job has a high turnover. Since Robert has been turned into a new puppet, or tank-tredded robot, he has the final kill shot and lights up the master with an electrical discharge right to the forehead. And right as the daughter walks in, screaming.....

     ...and then the film ends. WTF? It ended so abruptly, I thought I had a bad copy. Then I remembered it's on a store bought DVD and the credits start rolling. That was it! No foreshadowing, no teaser, no epilog. Over, finished, done, gone, out.

Sunday: More merriment in the 'hood! I swear I'm going to invent a drinking game called "Spot The 40"...in fact, I just did!