Everyones favorite pin cushion !

Hellraiser: Revelations

     We start out with more 'found footage', someone other than Doug Bradley as Pinhead, a movie produced in mere weeks because of a contractual obligation, and one pissed off Clive Barker lamenting that it wasn't even good enough to be considered his excrement. This movie has issues before we even get to the title splash.

     Basically, some spoiled rich kids (Nico & Steven) go to Tijuana where a homily bum gives/sells them the Lament Configuration. Since idle hands are the devils workshop, Nico starts messing with it and opens a gateway to some sort of S&M goth bar in Hell. They disappear and we move forward to present day with the families trying to come to terms with all that's happened. As the family starts piecing together the events, one of the missing sons, Steven, shows up out of nowhere. After awhile, he goes into spoiled asshole mode and holds the families hostage at gunpoint. It turns out that the 'son' that showed up is not the right one. Or rather, he's wearing the skin of the other. Get that? He's wearing a Steven body suit! Here's his plan: take the family to Pinhead via the Lament Configuration in order to trade for his soul. Pinhead simply tells him 'no' and proceeds to butcher the hell out of him, hook-style! It goes down hill from there with only one member remaining alive, or rather, escapes from the worlds least hygienic goth bar. Sure, there's a lot more there, but you'll have to watch for yourself.

     Honestly, I have to say this was a decent watch. Sure, it felt a little more like an episode than a full featured film, but I was somewhat impressed. There was a lot of imagery that I haven't seen in the Hellraiser franchise for a while, and it was nice to see some of them make a come back. For example, the hooks that Pinhead uses to immobilize his victims, the spinning pillar with body parts impaled on it, and the nasty bum that holds the Lament Configuration. All of these things are hallmarks in the series, and as much a part of the franchise as Freddy's fedora.

     Now, about the new Pinhead:

"I am NOT someones unfinished sewing project! Super serial!!!"

It took 2 people to make up Pinhead: one to act, and one to voice. He's not near as intimidating as Doug Bradley, and in fact, he looks sad. Also, the voice sounds puny and hollow. But alas, Doug won't touch another Hellraiser film unless Clive gives it his blessing. Clive had been working on a restart to the franchise until it was yanked out from under him and this resulting sequel is what we got instead. It's unlikely the reboot will ever happen, but I'll keep an eye out.

Monday: When holiday seasons collide!