Porno
Do you know how hard it is to search for this movie on Google? WITHOUT getting massive amounts of porn links?!? And don't get me started on Image Search....
Picture this if you will: It's 1990-something, you live an a Gawd-faring town, and you work in movie theater that plays NOTHING controversial. While digging in the basement you find a mystery reel and decide to play it. Surprise!!! It's the PORNS!!!....and watching it releases a succubus...eventually...
In the mean time, the whole movie falls flat on its face when a gay jock decides NOW is the best time to have his sexual awakening and they also find out that the owner not only has a boner for Jesus, but also hidden bathroom camera videos. But have no fear, the unnamed succubus makes the theate owner her first victim by giving him some ass-play right before ripping his dick off. Not long after that, she makes the second-in-command's balls explode. I really don't think this lady likes weiners. If you think that's cringe-worthy (you'd be right), you also get a full on visual of the wound triage that is startlingly realistic.
Eventually a plan is hatched to counter the succubi and this makes you happy because the movie is boring, unfunny, and NOT scary. No further details needed and no .gifs because searching for them on Google is overwhelming and maybe a little too distracting...
....man, worst of all it wasn't even a good porn. It was more like a cheap Dario Argento knock-off...
Thursday: Must See TV?....
No comments:
Post a Comment