Clowns do not make good meteorologists...

 Clownado    

NOTHING this cool happens in this movie. NOTHING.

        Fucking clowns....I hate clowns. I hate clowns that think I'm afraid of them or have some phobia. I don't. I just think they're stupid. And yet, here I am, watching this cinematic bowel movement because I CHOSE to. What was I thinking?!?

       The wife of a traveling clown show has an affair with a twatty dork. When the husband catches them together, he makes it look like she killed her overly-hairy lover. After using blackmail and  humiliation as a means to cover up her crime,, she has a friend cast a spell to create some stupid wind storm to wipe them all out. 

        Then a black Elvis impersonator shows up...more unnecessary bewbs, a bar fight, a very confused Elvis impersonator...finally, the movie lives up to its title: The vanquished clowns now travel in a tornado and exact revenge on those that wronged them. Somehow they stretched this out to 1 hour, 40 minutes. I think at one point a guy was eaten by a clown vigina...one of the clowns also gave birth to a mini-clown...this only makes me hate clowns more. Did I mention that bullets can still kill the clowns? Yeah, ghost clowns are not immune to bullets!

        Naturally to defeat the "clownado", they have to use pseudo-science with an airplane and a tank of liquid nitrogen. And by the way, I've never seen so many people panic about LN. They treat it like a nuke or some sort of nasty biohazard. It's in a secure tank, IT'S NOT THAT DANGEROUS!!!

 The kill count is marred by the fact that used runny blood and sprayed it everywhere. There was a lot of nipples in this movie and they seem to forget that if I want to see bewbs, I just go to the internet. Duh. 

Fudge it, I'm moving on.

Wednesday: An unnecessary sequel....