Monday, October 25, 2021

Since when are sharks NOT the star?

 Virus Shark


     A virus infects sharks. Sharks bite people, now the world teetering on the brink of blablablanobodycares. Now that a deadly pandemic has had it's merciless grip on society for nearly 2 years IN REAL LIFE, this isn't shocking. It's laughable. It's another fake plastic shark, another thin and runny plot, and 0 actors. There are no actors in this because NOBODY IN THIS FILM CAN ACT. Oh Jeebus, stop acting. YOU CAN'T DO IT, JUST QUIT!!! Quit the community theater and volunteer at a mission or an animal rescue league or a food bank or just ANYTHING useful to society other than these terrible ham-fisted attempts at thespianism. This wouldn't annoy me so much if they didn't take it so serious. I can over look the scene with a trio walking down well lit hallway while one of the gang is USING a lit flashlight. I can over look the use of Duke Nukem sound effects from 1996, but put it all together and it's just too much. They couldn't even do a proper voice over. THAT'S NOT EVEN IN FRONT OF CAMERA! THERE'S NO PRESSURE THERE! Sharkenstein was a fucking masterpiece compared to this suck-job of a movie.

The mercy finally kicks in at the 74 minute mark...when the film ends. But for fucks sake, it's ONLY TUESDAY and I have a whole week of shark movies planned. I must be out of my mind....

Wednesday: The pain continues with a board game based on communicating with the dead...and sharks!...

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