Well, the title should say it all. It's a movie about a giant fish snake in Hawaii that eats people. There, end of story. Now you know what it's about and you don't really need details because you can just fill in the blanks yourself. You know it's going to be bad. Now you don't have to watch it, right? Nobody needs to watch it, right?
....well, nobody but me. No, I have to sit through this whopper of a turd and for no reason other than my Godzilla upbringing. So it's a compulsion to watch a tired Michael Madsen earn a thin paycheck while Rachel Hunter learns what it's like to be Tara Ried for 15 minutes. And all they have to do is make-believe they can act like there's a giant snakefish about to eat them.
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| Taste like sweat and soiled khakis. |
The good news is, everyone but 2 people are turned into snake-poo. Whether it was the unnecessary bad-guy w/henchmen or whether it was the 3 bimbos that got eaten in the first 15 minutes. They're all dead. I was really starting to worry about this snakefishsnake's motive because at first, all it really wanted to do was eat hawt women in bikini's. But after chomping down on anything standing still or running away, it was clearly NOT biased. Just hungry. But why humans? Most of these twits were running around a tropical paradise getting all sweaty. Why would you want to eat that whole WITH clothing instead of washing it off first? Yick.
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| Girl, you got to let that one wash herself first! |
Needless to say, it's not a classic like Sharknado. Moving on...
Thursday: So....the Boss's sister has a peener?
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