5 idiots and a camera

Sharkenstein

YOU SEE HOW COOL THIS MOVIE POSTER IS?!? Here's what you actually get:

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

      I've seen a lot of bad movies. I've said I've seen the worst ever. Nowadays I can only narrow down the worst movie I've ever seen into 5 candidates and leave it at that. But I CAN say for sure that this is the worst SHARK movie I've ever seen. I can't see how far you can sink past this one...

     Scene: A Nazi sub surfaces, and some soldiers emerge and talk with a scientist. They're here to take his research because der Fuhrer want it. They're killed, soldiers leave, somehow this equates to a sharkenstein's monster 70+ years later.

     In the modern era, 3 idiots go on a boating excursion: 2 complete dorks and 1 semi-hawt gal. One of the men is very clearly in his mid-40's, but tries to wear his hat like a '90s Flavor Flav. And I want to punch him for that because nobody but Flav can pull off that look. Meanwhile, the shark is terrorizing the local 'harbor' by turning them into a red mist. The shark, mind you, is being controlled by some idiot that created him for purposes that are never made clear. The good news is, he dies by sharking. They almost ALL die by sharking.

     Seeing is believing when saying this is a bad film. But don't subject yourself to that. You'll witness things like the shark jumping onto a dock, and then lighting strikes it and it turns into a roided-up Mega Sharkenstein.

     You'll also be witness shark rape. It's played off as funny sex, but she didn't want it. That's rape. Bad shark.

     I know, I know....it's not meant to be serious. This is a bunch of friends with a camera and a little bit of money looking to have fun. But I've seen that so many times...buddy, that water gun made to look like a real one? I've seen that same gun 4 times this year and this probably won't be the last.....

Saturday: Best Movie Title of the year!!!...