Keeping machete makers in business since 1980...

Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter

     "The Final Chapter". Who are you kidding? Never make 4 movies and say "this is the last one" because we know you're full of shit.

Hello, handsome!

     This takes place right after the last movie's conclusion.  The corpses have been moved to the local hospital and....yep, Jason's not dead yet. After stabbing his way out of the hospital, it's back to the lake we go! Oh, there's also a new group of horny young people to kill.
     Basically, this new group is even hornier than the last. Everyone's getting laid, even Crispin Glover!

Cut a rug, shorty!

Well, not everyone, I guess. There was one dude left in the dark to watch a black and white stag film on an old time projector. He got stabbed.

      This follows the same formula as the others so it's really hard to point out anything new. There's a hell of a lot more face-palming moments than any of the other films (so far), and that's why you root for Jason. FFS, you realized a kid was by himself in a house, so you and your new woodsy flannel shirt wearing friend run to see if he's safe...and then immediately leave him alone again?!? In the end, everyone dies but a sister and brother. And the brother just happens to be a very young Corey Feldman! However, no other Corey's were harmed in the making of this film. Damn it.


Our kill list includes hacksaw to throat, seppuku, knife to back of neck, stabbing, speargun to the crotch, corkscrew to hand, kitchen knife to the face, thrown from window, knife to the back of the head, head crushing, axe to chest, machete to the head. The best kill scene was stolen by Jason:

Camera hog!

Monday: People just hanging out...