Technically, 5, but it's not about semantics....

3 on a Meathook

'80s hair in the '70s???

     This classic comes all the way from 1972 and features 4 hotties on a vacation. When their car fails them, a local creeper offers them a ride and shelter till morning. The father isn't having it and kills them all over night. The next day, our creeping son returns and the father convinces the son that he's to blame, despite not remembering. That was in the first 25 minutes, and really they could have ended the film there.

Wow, that is some Troma-level F/X right there.

     But instead, junior goes on a walkabout complete with crappy soundtrack and ends up in a bar, drinking himself silly. After he passes out, he wakes up at the barmaids house...naked, as was she. She assured him that they didn't have sex. Uh-huh...that's what would happen in real life. Then it slooowws way down and bores the hell out of you. This isn't a horror movie, this is a mystery....a mystery of how the hell I can sit through this awful turd! It's like visual Valium! It's a total drag, and  yet somehow I was able to sit through it.

     Since you're not going to watch this film EVER, I'll throw the spoiler out there: As I said earlier, it was the dad doing all the killings. BUT...he was doing so to feed his wife's insatiable cannibalism. She was long thought dead, by the way. I guess you really can spend 10 years hiding in a pantry...

....stupid damn movie. So far, I've watched a sentient bong, possessed bulldozer, and a frickn' sharknado! But this one? Dumbest so far.

Tuesday: Wow! I had 2 movies with Corey Feldman?!? He's getting to be a regular...