The Corpse
Grinders
A failing pet
food company has resorted to buying corpses for processing into food
for your furry critters. Once the human-tainted meat hits the open
market, cats go ape-shit for the sweet yummy flesh of humans. That's
right...Mr. Fluffy-bottoms is going to feast on your flesh the
second you look the other way. A veterinarian and his assistant
start to get suspicious and investigate as the plot thickens. Well,
'thicken' is a terrible description. Fester might be a better word.
This is a grade B- snooze-fest that will put you to sleep and it's OK
if you do. 45 minutes into it, and compulsion was the only thing
keeping me awake.
Not much of a
horror film, but I did have one intriguing thought: They throw the
bodies right into the grinder. No gutting, deboning, or
shaving/skinning. It's a wonder those cats didn't choke on a chunk of
fibula. Predictably, the acting is ham-fisted like a porno, but without the sex, and in the end, all it did was irritate my cat.
 |
| Murder Machine |
Unless you're on a mission to watch ever bad movie ever made, don't bother with this 'not-horror' film. The real horror of this film?
....Is knowing there's 2 sequels.
Saturday: It took almost 30 years for someone to revisit this dumpster fire...
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