Urban Farming is a great way to start cults...

Children of The Corn III: Urban Harvest

     The next chapter in a strangely LONG franchise (7 movies in total) that few knew went past 2 films, brings us to the near half way point with a move to a more 'urban' theater. 2 young lads Eli and Joshua (from Gatlin, naturally) are relocated from Nebraska to Chicago after the father of one of them is 'venge-killed' by demon corn. Only the dumbest social worker in the world would relocate some young rual hayseeds to inner city Chicago. Really....dumb as hell. But if she hadn't, we wouldn't have a movie.  It's OK, her face is melted later in the movie.

     Once they're in the third largest city in the America, the two become polar opposites: Joshua assimilates, and Eli starts a Corn Cult that teaches how evil adults are. He also starts a corn field in the middle of a densely populated city.  As the cult grows, so does the body count. Same as aways, only adults. Parents are killed, Priests are crucified, corn is grown. It's a real ball of excitement with a Midwest flavor to it.

     The climax is the same as the first 2. It takes place during a Corn Mass in the middle of a corn field, that's in the middle of Chicago. Joshua decides that after seeing his new friend become decapitated and turned into Mekaneck, it's time to stop the shenanigans.

"No, He-Man. I can't see into Teela's bedroom window. Stop asking."

     While Eli is quickly dispatched, that crazy dirt shark that we've been teased with during the first 2 movies makes a full-bodied appearance and it's revealed to be a plant monster. So...yeah. Kinda like Little Shop Of Horrors, but less cool.

Special Guest Star: Charliez Theron...and nobody else.

Saturday: The Sleeper has awoken...and brought donuts....