Zombie Driftwood
Ug...better jump into this one
head first. Well, a couple of metal-head D-bags and their girlfriends
visit the Cayman Islands. The back story includes a cruise ship lost
in the Bermuda Triangle. The ship reappears and beaches on the
island. Naturally, all hell breaks loose with whacky zombie hi-jinx and horrible special effects. And if you ever needed to know what zombie
penis dismemberment looks like? Your crazy fetish is there. Weirdo.
Anyhoo, the soundtrack is mostly metal. You'd think this is cool,
but it's way overused And hero-boy? He's a complete tool with
eyeliner. I don't care what you've been told, but make-up isn't very
metal, bra! Oh, and there was a zombie line-dance. So, in a many
ways, there's a lot of firsts in the movie. Completely unnecessary
firsts.
What can I say? The zombies barely
looked like zombies, Zombie Hitler showed up, and I
wanted the entire cast to die slowly and painfully after the first 15
minutes. I don't think I was asking for much there. Maybe the only
flattering thing I can say is this is the heavy metal theatrical love
child of Lloyd Kaufman and Roger Corman.
 |
| Hi there! I'm Zombie Hitler and I'm lame....so so lame.... |
Thursday: I'd like more tuna in my
dolphin, please!
I questions some of those firsts. The detachable penis bit was done in Beyond Re-Animator (2003; it has a shadow-boxing fight with a rat in the credits) and the line dancing was done in Dead and Breakfast (2004). Is it sad that I even know that?
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