Don't Fuck In The Woods
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| One word: Underwhelmed. |
You're never going to believe this, but this story involves recent college graduates, camping in the woods, sex, and a monster! Seriously, I could end this 'review' right here! What else did you need to know? That there's week f/x? That the acting is ham-fisted? That the monster had no real motive for the murders OTHER than it it likes to steal genitalia and reproductive organs?...actually that part COULD have been an interesting aspect, had it not also included a scene in which hero monster rips a guys tallywacker off for reasons that are never explained. Maybe they/them are making a necklace and needed a pendent?
The best things this movie has going for it is it doesn't take itself too serious, and the gratuitous amount of nudity. However, only the ladies get naked. I guess the guys were just too self conscience of they're package to participate. Cowards.
Look, it's a quick watch at 72 minutes, nudity every 10, a decent metal soundtrack, and it's not the worst thing you'll see this year. It's bad, but not Pod People bad. And like all good bad movies....there's a sequel!!!... but alas, that will have to wait, I have a boat-load of trash to get through starting with a repeat offender.
Tuesday: This...THIS is the Nick that I remember.....
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