“The Undisputed Plasticweight Champion Of The World”

Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys

     Just when you thought a franchise couldn't get any worse, I find this turd lingering on the internet. I had my choice of 2 movies starring (heh) Corey Feldman. I chose this time filler to round out my masochistic need to witness all the Puppet Master movies. The other will have to wait till next year. But here's a teaser: It was so bad, someone had to leak it to Youtube....and it's still there....

But until then:

     We meet the great grandNEPHEW of Andre Toulon, creator of the puppets, played by Mr. Feldman. And much like his lineage dictates, he's bat-shit crazy and REALLY into puppets. I've always found it odd that the puppet masters never create themselves a girlfriend. Anyhoo, while the current Toulon is tinkering in his home lab with the new old puppets, we learn that he's being spied on by the purveyors of an evil corporate toy company hell bent on taking over the world...with toys. HIS toys, to be accurate. Through that, we're introduced to the Demonic Toys and their demon worshiping master, Erica Sharpe. Her plan is to take over the world at midnight, Christmas Day, by triggering all the dormant toys to do her bidding...which happens to be killing every living thing. So we've got a really really strong plot here.

     I'm pretty sure when they write these scripts, they assume nobody is dumb enough to watch ALL of the PM movies, so they never worry about continuity. The proof is when they give a surprisingly decent origin story (yes, I think that makes 4 as of this film) of the soul-possessed tree the wooden puppets were carved from. But trust me, that is the ONLY thing you'll find inspiring about this festering pile of dreck. It's well known that I've picked apart this series, damn near to the bone, so there's no need to repeat myself since all the usual crappiness is still there. But the one thing, the ONE THING that drives me batty about this entire film is Cory Fucking Feldman and his attempt to muster a low toned, gravely voice. Stop embarrassing yourself, son. You don't have the range!

     And that is THAT! 31 movies, 31 days, 31 facepalms. For as many times as I groaned or thrown my hand in the air and said "WTF are you doing!?!", I can assure you there was a smile hiding behind it. It's a 31 film grind that you have to juggle into your daily routine and we've been doing it since 2008. It's not always easy, and sometimes it's work. But it's always worth it in the end. And I've already started on next year's list....

'Till then, over finished done gone out.

See ya!