Monday, October 12, 2015

It was never really a horror movie franchise to begin with......

Bates Motel...(no, not the TV series..well it was kinda...it's a long story)

     We start off meeting Alex West, friend of Norman Bates. Or he was while they were in the asylum. Norman has died and left Ye Olde Motel to Alex because he was such a good friend. Now that Alex has been released, he decides to spruce up the murder pit..er, money pit...err....motel, and start renting out rooms again. With the help from a former handyman, a banker, and Lori Petty, he dumps a crap load of money into coating everything with a southwestern motif, all the while seeing spoooky shadows of Old Lady Bates in the window. His first customer says she's there to write a book or some crap, but is really there to commit suicide. While she's in the tub getting read to do the deed, a young girl walks in and just starts chatting up. Turns out she's with a group of young kids that all drive vehicles from the 50's. Anyhoo, they invite her to a party they just started (holy shit, is that Jason Bateman? Yes it is!), and she obliges and decides not to kill herself as all the kids reveal themselves to be ghost of people that really DID go through with it....

                                                               …............................

….First of all, what the fuck is this shit? Is NOT a horror film. This WISHES it could be a really bad episode of Scooby Doo. But it can't be even that good. Or bad. Whatever. It's complete crap. It has so little to do with the Psycho franchise, it's startling that it even got to use original story or names. According to Wiki, it was a pilot for a TV series that never happened. And that's a damn good thing too. While we now have the REAL Bates Motel TV series, we could have been subjected to this gawd awful Fantasy Island shit show. OOOOH and the best part----> in the end we find out the spoooooky shadows of Old Lady Bates was actually the BANKER wearing a mask...trying to haunt the place. Yeah, we could have had Fantasy Dooby Doo or Scooby Island. I'm going to burn this damn DVD....



Tuesday: That is one heavily recycled title...

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