V/H/S
Right from the start, this movie has 2
things going against it. First, it's an anthology of 6 different
mini-movies. Second, they're all 'found footage' films featuring
mostly Dude-Bros. I hate found footage films. They try to scare you
by NOT showing you anything, and leave more questions than are ever
answered. Oh, and sometimes they make me dizzy because THE FUCKING
CAMERA NEVER STOPS SHAKING!!!....ahem, so naturally, I'm jaded from the
start...
 |
| ....creepy-assed humongus eye girl... |
Within the 6 tales, we have a demon bat
girl that rips off a mans junk, a lesbian double cross complete with
throat stabbing, a poltergeist, a bunch of blurry shapes of
creatures/things killing people in the woods/house/where ever it's
dark, and Skyping bewbs! Oh, and for some reason, there's more dude-bro ass
than I prefer to see, but there's some cheesecake too, so all's fair.
I find it hard to really review
anthology style films because there's just too much ground to cover
and I don't want to be too windy or give too much away. I will say it
wasn't as bad as I expected, and the last story, 10/13/98, was pretty
decent. If you're into this sort of thing, you might as well go for
it. There's a sequel, but I'm not going into that. I'm really tired
of sequels...however...
Sunday: One more from an old friend....
Seems skippable if you ask me. Also, I miss 80s horror, where at least you occasionally got some beef sausage with your cheesecake.
ReplyDeleteWell, you get to see some dudes weiner...and then you get to see it ripped off. So, its got that going for it....
ReplyDeleteDamn, Spank, what is this, like the 10th movie with genital mutilation in it? I think you may be getting a subliminal message from the cosmos: stay inside this Halloween. Preferably alone.
ReplyDelete