Of Hobbits and Nuggets

Has it really been a year?

   HELL YES it has. And a LONG one at that! We shoe-horn 31 horror movies in 31 days to fend off the horrors of real life during the other 334. That being said, let's get this started with something stupid:

Cooties (2015)

     And we have your first zombie movie of the year. A contaminated chicken becomes a chicken nugget and infects a young girl.

     She does the right thing and infects the rest of the children giving you every reason you ever needed to knock some sense into these little brats. Trust me,  you'll want to see nearly every child punched hard in the face in the first 10 minutes of this movie. It paints a quick picture of the modern school child albeit with a heavy dose of satire.

     Apparently the tainted nugget turns the kids into contagious bloodthirsty little cannibals and soon they start making meals out of the faculty. And that's really all there is to it: teachers trapped in  in a school with blood thirsty children and wacky hijinks ensue. Mostly running.

Those are entrails. Just so you know.

     After surviving the hordes of little bastards, our heroes learn it's a nation wide pandemic and that naturally leaves the movie open ended and nowhere nears as cool a movie as Zombieland.

Watch if:

You hate kids
You're drunk/stoned
You're obsessed with Elijah Wood

Wednesday: HA! Someone's a little randy!!!