1982
Marc Singer in a loincloth. Do you really need a review?
Okay, fine:
King Zed busts some heathen hoedown and kicks High Priest Maax out of town, but not before the priest makes a gruesome threat. Check out the eyebrows on Maax. It's like he's from Planet Vulcan's savage years.Anywho, Maax's minions make good on at least part of his threat and the unborn heir is smuggled out of town in the womb of a cow. Fortunately, he's rescued from death by some guy.
Fast forward about two decades and Dar is a deliciously chiseled young buck in a land that hasn't discovered pants. Oh and he can talk to animals. He's friends with a hawk (who worshiped by creepy bat-like things), two thieving ferrets and a dirty tiger. he tried to use the last one to get at a different kind of cat but isn't very successful.
While following Kiri, the Slave Girl, he runs into King Zed's other son and the boy's guardian. Turns out Kiri is the boy's cousin and all set out to rescue her from...Maax. Lightning Brows in now sporting two pigtails with skull barrettes and still barbequing kids for God. If I'm not mistaken, I thought one of the charcters said he forces the people to breed so that he can take their kids. I never realized what a pedophile priest vibe particular plot line had.
Anyway, they rescue Kiri and King Zed - who's still alive but blinded like Oedipus - but the celebration is short lived because Zed wants revenge on Maax. He doesn't know Dar is his son and so, calls him an animal-whispering freak. You get to see Dar cry.
Aw. Don't cry Dar. You're sensitive and you like cats. That's almost better than a black card with chicks.
Of course the revenge plot fails and Dar rides to the rescue. Lots of muscle flexing, animal antics and side-rear shots later, Dar wins the day...and Kiri. See, told you sensitive guys always scoreYea!
Wait...
Isn't she his cousin?
Bit of trivia: I used to get Kevin Bacon and Marc Singer confused as a kid.
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