In The Name of the King: The Last
Mission (but not really)
The 3rd, and so far, last
ITNOTK movie starring Dominic Purcell as the main protagonist named
Hazen Kaine. The film starts out with Dom acting as an
assassin/mercenary in modern times. His last mission is to kidnap
some royal crotch fruit. He does so, easily, and hides them in a
storage container. He sees an amulet on one of the victims and rips
it off of her. After locking them away in the container, he compares
the cheap trinket to a tattoo and it opens a portal to the past. Back
to medieval times that included a dragon. Again. Yes, this movie
opens almost EXACTLY as the second film did.
I'll be honest. I checked out while
this movie was playing. It was one long sword fight and a plot so
weak and runny, it could shit through a screen door. One of the most
grating scenes was at the ¾ mark. During a big battle between the
warring armies, someone yells “STOP FIGHTING!!!” and everyone did
just that. Seriously?!? Since when does that ever work?
Eventually, Razain Hain or
whatever the hell his cheesy name is, wins the battle, kills the bad
guy and is transported back to his time...with the the dragon following
him through the portal. There's a chase scene, people get shot,
there's some double crossing, and the dragon kills the lamest 'tough
bitch' hench-lady I've ever seen. Movie over, I'm done with this
terrible set, and all is right with the world...
...for now.
You need a photo if you want me to pin this.
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