“Movie sadomasochism” or “How I spent $5 to punish myself”

Leprechaun

Back in 1993, I thought this was a retarded idea for a horror movie and refused to watch it or even give it a chance. 21 years later, and I'm still right.

     Warwick Davis, who you may remember from Willow and countless other high profile films, stars in this along side Jennifer Aniston with a collection of other After School Special rejects. Our film starts out with the O'Grady's having the first encounter with the Leprechaun after Mr. O'Grady stole his gold. The Lep isn't too happy about is and tosses Mr. O's wife down the stairs. Taking exception to this is, Mr. O throws him in a crate, and intends to burn Lep to death. Unfortunately, Mr. O has a stroke and sent to an old folks home, leaving Lep sitting in the crate for 10 years. And that's when Ms. Aniston moves into the scene and things get dumb real fast. The rest of the movie is Warwick running around searching for his gold and trying to kill pretty much everyone he meets. 

     I don't get it...he's the least intimidating horror monster I've ever seen and people run from him like it was a cenobite. A four leaf clover is SUPPOSED to kill him and they tried their best by shooting one into his mouth and causing him to fall into a well. Yes, he's to be undone by a damn flower. But alas, clearly nobody has ever watched a horror movie before and it merely slows him down. So as he's crawling out of the well, they push him back down and pour some gas on top of it and 'boom' goes the well. Yeah, because that's ALWAYS going to work.

How in the hell could you ever be afraid of this?!?

Highlights include:

Death by Pogo stick

Best Line- “Fuck you, Lucky Charms!”

THERE ARE NO TARANTULAS IN EITHER DAKOTA!!!

Tuesday: Enjoying another $1.25 of movie magic. Prolly going to need some booze.