Leprechaun 3
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| Somehow, Vegas is supposed to impress me. |
So, the unluckiest man walks into a
pawnshop in Vegas to hock a statue. He warns the shop-keep to 'NEVER
REMOVE THE MEDALLION”. That was strictly implied from a man missing
one eye, one leg, and one hand. Clearly ignoring all of the markers
for a horror movie plot, the shop-keep tosses 'Mr. Lucky' a $20, and
proceeds to take the medallion right off. You'll never guess who's
the stat....oh hell, you know where this is going. It's that damn Lep
doing his lamest Han Solo in Carbonite impression. Immediately, Lep
attacks the shop keeper and we've got ourselves a movie, I guess. I'm
not even going to ask WHY or HOW he got frozen into a statue, or how
the bloomin' hell it ended up in Vegas. But one thing is for sure,
one of the coins in his pot of gold is missing and EVERYONE will pay
till he has it back in his stash.
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| Did I mention he had 'Lucky' tattooed on his other wrist? |
While he's torturing the
shopkeeper, some dunder-head wanders in to try and pawn a watch since
he blasted through $23k playing roulette in about 45 minutes. Since
he's an idiot, he stole the missing gold coin and heads back to the
casino to and starts cleaning house. Apparently, the coin has some
lucky properties and the rest of the movie becomes a cat and mouse
game filled with kill scenes that were similar to Nightmare on Elm
Street, but even more cut-rate. I should also mention that he starts
becoming a leprechaun after that little green dork bit him. So Leprechaun bites turn you into a Wereprechaun? God, this franchise is idiotic.
Puppet Master makes more sense and nobody's more surprised that I
just typed that than me.
In the end, Lep is nothing but a
smoking pile and our heros walk away, tossing away that flippin'
ever-important gold coin. This, of course, is the tell-tale sign of
the inevitable sequel. One thing I'd like to note is there hasn't
been a backstory as to why he ended up inside a tree in LA, or how
he was frozen into a statue. Given this randomness, I can only make
an educated guess about where he'll be next...
A couple of laughable things:
Internet in '95 was kick ass.
“When Lep met Elvis”
Literal dwarf tossing...out a 6th
floor window.
Thursday: Wait, SERIOUSLY?!? That's
where we're going next???
The whole series is just mad random. It's like they had just put plot points in squares on the floor and then tossed some jacks. The 'Wereprechaun' (as you so eloquently termed it) angle had to be the worst leap ever (and totally inconsistent), but was kind of funny to watch...especially when his teeth came in.
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