“I love wieners, but I hate dicks”

Dahmer Vs. Gacy

Well, what do you expect with a movie title like this? And yes, that really is the title.

     Long dorky story short, Dahmer and Gacy have been cloned in order to create the perfect killing machine for the military. They break free and go on nationwide killing spree. They really hate each other and soon it becomes clear that they're going to go at each other. One likes to eat people, the other likes to eat people AND fuck their dead corpses

     And then there's Ringo, God's retarded drunken redneck soldier. His two primary weapons appear to be a shotgun and a bottle of JD. He's also got a thing for Anne Robinson from The Weakest Link. God talks to him through a radio and recruits him to stop them.

Observe exhibit A: Peter Pantsless

     Finally, there's X-13. He's the craziest of them all and is dispatched to stop both cannibalistic idiots. He manages to mouth-stab Gacy with an ear of corn, and stabs Dahmer in the chest with the same. However, Ringo, our now pant-less retarded drunken redneck soldier, blows him away with a shotgun. The en...Holy shit, is that Steve Adler of GnR?!? Really?...wow. Ok. Didn't see that one coming. Anyway, The End....till the cliffhanger involving Charles Manson and a butcher knife. I thought this was rather stupid considering Manson never actually killed anyone. All the murders were done by his disciples. Whatevs.

Thursday: I've always felt that turkeys were the most evil bird....