Hellboy (2019)
When I first heard that Ron Pearlman wasn't returning as Hellboy, I immediately dismissed it. David Harbour did his best. He did it the way they wanted, and it's not horrible, but...it's no Ron Pearlman. And I get it...Ron Pearlman is almost 75 as of this post. He really can't do it anymore. But putting "Dad-Bod" in a successful franchise to replace Pearlman...there were better choices. Josh Brolin comes to mind.
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| ...but we get this instead... |
The plot is pretty thin, but it mostly deals with the Blood Queen, played by Mila Jovovich, wants to be resurrected and she wants Hellboy as her king. When he wields Excalibur, he'll become the demon king or some such, and brings about the end of the world. That is the meat on this bone in its entirety. The rest of the film is back story filler, stale one-liners, and some over-the-top violence that includes a scene where demons just shreds humans in the most brutal way possible. For example:
Eventually, Hellboy comes to his senses and vanquishes Mila because she's a terrible life partner and everyone is saved...well, everyone but all those people that got ripped apart by the demons. Those people aren't coming back.
Left with a 'meh' feeling at the end of the film is normal. It's not you, it's the underwhelming movie. But the bad news becomes worse when you find out they made another 're-sequel-boot' this year, featuring a 3rd Hellboy actor that nobody's heard of:
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| Sullen AND morose in the same still. Amazing. |
Monday: I tried to keep the '80s films to a minimum....
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