Monday, October 17, 2022

Friends don't let friends make horror movies...

Return to Splatter Farm





     Tell me if you've heard this story before....Idiot friends go on a weekend trip to a farm that has a deadly reputation. Another idiot that lives there helps all of them die. There's no new hook, nothing unique or noteworthy, and is 100% a complete waste of time. Everyone in this movie should consider a career at Best Buy, Kohl's, or maybe something really exciting like office drone in an insurance company.

     Was this a fucking school project? Or was it a group of friends that said "We know how to make movies!!!". That is a lie. They do not know how to make a movie. To call it ham-fisted acting, featuring stiff and awkward deliveries would be a massive understatement. Ya know what?! I'm not going to take any of this serious if  you idiots can't!

But not all is lost! It's only 72 minutes. Hooray!!! But seriously, don't watch this movie.

Tuesday: You're taking a vacation from what, exactly?


No comments:

Post a Comment