When you just need a soft werewolf story....

 The Marsupials, The Howling III

Nothing in this movie look this good. NOTHING.

     Wow, where to start. This is a huge departure from the first 2 films. Jerboa is a poor country girl living in a family commune in a small Australian town called Flow (wolF). Her father is a incestual rapist and she's had enough so she runs away to Sydney. While in Sydney she meets a man that wants to put her in a movie...the surprising part, he DID in fact put her in a movie and it wasn't porn! At the film wrap party, camera flashes or strobing lights set off her transformation, so she runs away and is hit by a car. While in the hospital, we learn she's pregnant and has a bun in the oven...or rather a 'roo in the pouch. Turns out she's not really a canine, but a marsupial. But...wolves aren't marsupials so I have no idea what she is. They're all bipedal, live birth and nurture in a pouch, and wolf-out. So it's either Kangawolf or Wolfaroo. I'm going with Wolfaroo.

I skipped over this scene because it was just stupid. 

     In what appears at first to be unrelated, a ballerina senses a new mate and it turns out to be that bumpkin rapist dad of Jerboa's. Quickly she succumbs to the mating heat and wolfs-out during a ballet rehearsal. After some interrogation, her trail leads them to Flow and all the wolfaroo's are rounded up and examined while Jerboa and her new offspring and new baby-daddy wander the countryside while being hunted. This is where the film really slows down and examines semantics and fills in a lot of back story in relation to origin. Well, that's just fucking exciting. Jebus Hizzy Chrizzy, move on with it and do some damn wolfaroo stuff!

     Long story short, the hunting parties fail, rapist incest dad is killed by a bazooka, and the pack starts over in new land with a scientist hooking up with the wolfaroo ballerina. Does any of this constitute beastiality? Yes. Yes it does. In one of the longest epilogues I've ever witnessed, we learn that over a 20+ year period, the remaining wolfaroo's reintegrate into more society after being granted amnesty by, get this, the Pope! That's one hell of an endorsement. It's sort of a happily ever after ending till Jerboa wolfs-out at an awards ceremony.

This movie was dull, and slow moving. It was like 'werewolf-lite'. Feel free to skip it. I would rather have watched this instead:

Wednesday: Can we get back to bloody murders? Please?