If at first you don't succeed...

 ....just try 4 or 5 more times...

The Howling V: The Rebirth

     We start the film in ancient times because we are forced into thinking that we need deeper roots for a stupid series of werewolf movies. Some medieval jackasses slaughter a family and then add suicide to their homicide. All's fair, I guess. However, a baby starts crying as the impale themselves and they realize they failed. Fast forward to 1989, and a bunch of random wankers are invited to some castle. The guests include a tennis player, an actress, a bimbo, the Professor, a baker, a candlestick maker, and Dave.

     It takes about 27 minutes before the first body drops, but after that, it's pretty regular and becomes a typical cat & mouse stalking game. They were all brought to the castle because they're all decedents of the slaughtered...and I guess that family was wolf-people. It was all ruse by some secret order called The Martyrs to expose and kill the werewolf.  None of this really matters, however, because the werewolf wins and everyone is dreadfully boring. There's no cool actors, no great scenes...hell, the coolest kill was an accidental beheading....oh, that poor poor maid. This film was direct-to-video and it's a damn good thing. I can't imagine sitting in a theater watching all of these idiots walk around a badly lit castle while getting picked off one by one.

Friday: One more damn dog-people movie to go..