Friday, October 5, 2018

Prohibition sucks!

Bloodrunners



     Ice T is the show runner in a speakeasy during Prohibition. The local cops are aware of the joint but would rather shake it down than shut it down. Oh, and the proprietors of the speakeasy are vampires. Goddamn, this shit just writes itself!!!

     Shakedowns go bad, people are eaten, mild gore, poorly placed drama, unnecessary back stories, bad dialog, and even worse acting round out this cheap half-assed attempt to put someones vampire noir fan-fiction to film. But the jokes on me because they made it, and I'm watching it! Amazingly, they hammer this dried-out turd for over 90 minutes with a paltry estimated budget of just under half a million. I'm pretty sure T is paid more per episode for L&O:SVU than this entire films possible budget.

     You know what's sad?  If the cops hadn't been so damn greedy, everyone would be happy! The cops would get their payoff, the vamps would get the money they needed to make their way to New York....yeah by the way, that was the master plan. But nooOOOOoooo, now it's a literal blood feud and our climax brings us to the vampires den to save a young damsel in distress.

     The ending is typical and leaves the door open for a sequel, but why the hell would they want to do that? Why would you want to create an endless series of films based on a premier story-line?
OH right...it's a horror film.

Saturday: It's everything and it's nothing..

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