Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Really , I never know when I've reached the bottom of the barrel..

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver or Roller Boogieman



     I'm not a journalist, nor  have a ever pretended to be. Journalists have an amazing talent to squeeze 500+ words about nothing and still keep you reading. I, on the other hand, struggle to manage 2 paragraphs about the last movie in a stupid low budget horror franchise featuring a gingerbread cookie possessed by the soul of a homicidal maniac. But here goes anyway....

     In a blatant rip-off of Silence of the Lambs, we meet the stupid Gingerdead Man in an asylum filled with other foods that have become homicidal. Some idiotic PETA terrorists release them all, thinking they're animals caged beyond their will. Apparently, they missed all of the sights saying 'INSANE ASYLUM' as they drove towards the building. And also missed the sign on the door. Like I said, 'DUMB".  With Gingy released, he wanders into a secret lab working on time travel and after killing the scientists, he goes for a ride to 1976. Solid. Plot.

     Once transported, he lands in a damn roller rink during the height (?) of the disco era, and starts killing people with methods like: Hooking up a vat of acid to the hose of a bikini car wash. I guess lots of roller rinks use hydrochloric acid for...stuff. Lots more stabbing, nail gunning, chopping, and slicing till the end when things go all Carrie-like and everyone is electrocuted. Then Hitler, Manson, Dahmer, and Borden show up and that...that right there was when I realized I was watching a silly movie. And for now, the last one in this franchise. Yay.

Tuesday: In movies, why are most aliens naked?

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