Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return
SOoooo...once more to Gatlin, NE we go. A daughter of the freaks we saw in the first film is on a road trip to find her real mother. Right from the start, she seems to be hallucinating a preacher as a passenger in her car, run off the road by rednecks, and examined by a seemingly creepy doctor. While snooping around for info on her mother, she runs across a man laying comatose in a hospital. It turns out to be Isaac, long thought dead to the world. Once she arrives, he starts to stir, and is magically awoken from his 19 year slumber. I guess she's part of a prophecy and I really didn't care because this was a boring-ass movie. It really tries to tell a story, but we've seen this story 5 times already. This is the most boring of the series so far. There's some gore, but very tame. And what is it about being chased by crazed corn cult kids on motorcycles that makes the loins burn? "Hey, I know you almost just died getting cut up with machetes, but screw that. Lets do it!!!!"
Bah, this is a boring film and it's only redeeming quality was an appearance by Stacy Keach. Skip at all costs unless you're suffering from insomnia. It's so boring, I'm not even posting the movie poster.
Friday: This is why I never trust old ladies...
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