It's sadly not porn...

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It wouldn't be a Halloween movie list without an anthology.

The Box

Nosey little kid asks what is in the box a fellow passenger on a bus is holding. He opens to box and the kid looks in. Whatever was in that box just put him and eventually his family on one of the most effective crash diets you've ever seen

The Birthday Party

Mother of the year finds her husband has died, right before her daughters birthday party. She does the right thing and hides the body. Wacky hijinks ensues and there's even a Panda suit for the furries.

Don't Fall

4 friends go to the desert for an expedition and just HAD to find a cave painting of some demon thing that later becomes real and kills the acrophobic one. Then it puts on the dead woman's skin and proceeds to murder the fuck out of everyone. On the plus side, she no longer has a fear of heights.

Her Only Living Son

Cora, as she now wishes to be known, has a son that likes to rip off classmates fingernails. Weird hobby, right? Anyhoo, it turns out the little guy's dad isn't who she thinks it is. If you picked Satan, you would be correct. And since Jr. is turning 18, daddy's coming to visit. He comes, they refuse him, and he kills them. Happy Birthday! This is a spiritual sequel to Rosemary's Baby, apparently. I guess when you don't ask for permission, you can bill it however you want.

And there it is. Four stories that are 'meh' at best. The only really remarkable thing about this film is the bumpers between segments. They're all stop motion and creepy as hell. You'll love those. The rest is forgettable. OH, and searching for gifs proved...interesting.

Monday: When you go to far forward with a franchise, you have to go back...