It took a year to get here.....

...and I'm MORE than ready. I've often called Halloween my 'Christmas' because it's the one holiday I actually enjoy. It's not just the movies. It's also the atmosphere: Cool, dry weather, stores filling up with costumes and decorations, candy in 5lb BAGS, movies, little kids dressed up in cheap plastic masks and make-up, the leaves turning color, movies...Since we've been doing this every year for damn near a decade, I avoid horror movies during the regular year and keep a running list of what I want to see. And as always, I have a mix of bad, silly, classic, terrible, strange, and stupid films to wade through. There's also an entire franchise that I want to power through, since that's become somewhat of a tradition for me. So let's dig in with::::::


Deathgasm

Everything in this poster is right and good.

     This feature comes to us from New Zealand, where they clearly know how make a metal-headed horror movie. We meet our protagonist, Brodie, and his dick-headed friend Zakk, as they first meet, form a friendship (complete with blood pact), and form a band with a couple of Dungeons and Dragons nerds. While terrorizing the town, they decided to rob the house of an aging former band member of some long-forgotten death-metal band. One item they stole was sheet music for bringing about some lame-ass demon named Aeloth.  They decided to put the play the music, and all hell breaks loose and we have ourselves a Goddamn horror movie!!!

This was a great film to start the year off with. It was funny, gory, silly, and full of metal, the pacing is spot on. There was never a dull moment or slowdown during it's 86 minute entirety. And don't forget about the blood. Lots and lots of spraying blood. Seems as though they took a page out of the Japanese film making book and ran with it. Here's proof:

Notice that he already vomited blood on her once...why didn't she move after that?

There's also an entire fight scene involving dildos and anal beads the size of golf balls

Sadly, the anal beads were far more effective

My only complaint about the film is this one scene summed up by a single picture. Please observe:

This never happens to a metal head. It. Just. Doesn't.


Regardless, on to Sunday Funday: He wanted to disconnect himself....