2007
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| Ray Liotta was just ridiculous in this movie. |
If you can tell, I've been posting these movies kind of randomly. I watched a bunch during all the snow days we had here, but I've been too busy to write about them. There are like five that I need to post, so without further ado...
Truthfully, I watched this film because I wanted to know what the deal was with the time portals. Imagine my surprise when they weren't even in the first film. I'm going to cut across the grain, though, and say that I actually enjoyed the first half of it. That soundtrack, though! Every time any character was having a moment, the freaking music would come on full blast like someone was testing a stereo at Best Buy. Jason Statham was already mumbling half his lines - the soundtrack made it impossible to watch without subtitles. Still it wasn't actually as bad as I expected...or maybe it was just the aftereffect of watching its infinitesimally more horrible sequels.
That said, the all-star cast, some of the script details, and that FUCKING SOUNDTRACK made it seem like a really over the top dream. Or like some unskilled comedian was beating a joke way past the punch line. Also, a man named Farmer...who farms? (Cue dramatic orchestration.) I think I actually had some notes somewhere about this flick, but really...moving on. I can't even tell you how it ended because the battle scene music was horrendous. I remember some kissing...and then came the closing credit song. Sweet Satan's freshly waxed ball-sack...it was like Queen circa the Highlander soundtrack as interpreted by Power Symphony and remixed by Leaves Eyes.
Seriously, every time I even try to remember a scene from the movie, a blast of horns and strings just bombards my psyche. It's like Boll wants you to hate him. BTW was there even a dungeon in this movie?
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