OK, first of all this isn't horror film. Someone suggested it, I like Ralph Bakshi films, so I said 'why not?' Well, they were wrong. It's a D&D fantasy film but it's on my list, I'm still watching it.
Nekron and his mother Juliana are in a conquering mood and decide to make the land of Firekeep their bitch. Nekron, being wizardy, sends a wall of glaciers to plow through to Firekeep and force a surrender. After making some serious progress, Nekron sends some 'ambassadors' to King Jerol for negotiations. He turns them down, so they steal his hawt daughter Teegra....who apparently hates clothing.
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| That's not a swimsuit. That's her leisure wear. |
Larn, a lone survivor from a village on the outskirts of the kingdom that was wiped out by Nekron's soldiers is just trying to survive and runs into Teegra, who had just escaped from her idiot captors.
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| Larn, you're a hunky slice of cheddar, but that name.....LARRRN. |
They hit it off right away but a serious cock-block encounter with her captors tears them apart and now his mission is to rescue her. Then we meet Darkwolf. He's a complete bad-ass warrior and has a major "kill Nekron" boner.
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| Did you REALLY need to kill a wolf for that stupid hat?!? |
He teams up with Larn and they fight, kick, punch, axe, and stab their way to Nekron's keep. Larn rescue's his new main squeeze, Darkwolf kills Nekron, and everybody is happy in the end...
...except for all the wildlife that was killed when Jerol gives the order to flood AN ENTIRE FOREST with lava. LAVA!!! Everything in the land they were trying to protect died because he went nuclear! Teegra, your dad sucks!
Thursday: Finale
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