Infinite Santa
8000
Over a thousand
years ago, humanity died out, and (for the most part) only robots,
cyborgs, and mutants walk the earth. So does Santa. And when we first
see him, he's in the middle of a competitive blood sport. After
winning, he heads back to his ranch and we meet his herd of robot
reign deer and Martha, his robot companion. During the night, Martha
is kidnapped by some guy that looks a rabbit, but he's not the Easter
bunny. Santa rescues her, but then they're ambushed and captured.
That's when we meet our really uncharismatic antagonist Dr.
Shackleton. She's got some sort of world domination plot cooking, and
she needs Santa's DNA to build her army. Yeah, strong writing.
This is not the
first time I've watched animated Halloween features for this blog,
but this is the crappiest I've ever seen. It was like watching a
Flash cartoon from 1999. This was
something that should have only been 45 minutes maximum. Somehow they
stretched this out to over an hour and a half. There wasn't anything
funny, edgy, or even interesting. The dialog is painful to listen to
and the voice talent is partly to blame. And I almost feel bad trashing this because somewhere out there is a group of people that busted their ass to make this happen. Was it a horror movie? No, probably not intentionally. It's a good candidate for this years Horror Movie Mulligan, and you can test yourself to see how far you can get into this movie by watching it here:
Tuesday: Final film for 2017!
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